Archive for November, 2012

Jimmy feels wanted

Friday, November 30th, 2012

Jimmy was confused.  In his younger days, alone and unwanted by everyone, he thought that things could only get worse as he aged.  Given his own shallow nature, and his attraction for surface beauty, he figured that as the years went by, his ‘luck’ at hooking up with guys he found attractive, would decline.

But as he entered his early 40’s, he was surprised to find that his tastes had matured faster than he had, and suddenly guys 10 years his junior, were lusting over him, they way he had over them.  As much as Jimmy disliked his hirsute nature, it turned out there were smooth guys in the exact opposite boat, leading to a perfect lust-storm of meeting each other’s ideals.

There were compromises to be made, lots of ‘straight’ married men, usually in between separation and divorce, experimenting.  Unsafe where he would prefer safe, flakes who just never showed, but on the whole, it was a strangely effective time in his life to be a slut.

Incomming Announcement at work

Friday, November 30th, 2012

When I checked my calendar at work this morning, I saw a mysterious meeting titled “Announcement” had been added overnight.

Yesterday, my boss missed our daily standup, because when he went down to give blood at the blood drive, they sent him to the ER with an irregular heartbeat.

Since the same guy made the appointment, it seems likely he’s still alive, but also seems likely the announcement will have something to do with his ER trip.  Hope he’s OK.

Not how it works

Monday, November 26th, 2012

I love the optimistic naivete that thinks you can overcome the evil capitalist monster, which you willingly fed your most private information with, by making yet another post on the same said monster.

A Jimmy Tale

Sunday, November 25th, 2012

Jimmy knew it was a bad idea before he even answered the ad.  When they start off with the sob-story and gift-request up front, it doesn’t generally go anywhere good, but his own birthday was coming up soon, so he felt a certain sympathy, with the character, if not necessarily for the man playing the character.  A few messages exchanged, and the pictures don’t do the guy justice…he realizes, no matter how loud the alarm goes off inside his head, at least for now, he’s got to see what’s real in this guy, if anything.

Jimmy picked the guy up from his house, frail and thin, and god-awful breath, but a friendly chatter-patter, and some sense of plans for moving life forward, and the date goes on.  Chilling on the futon at home, nothing ever really comes real, except the sense of being played.

The days go by, and sometimes things do happen, but only if Jimmy really pushes, and then it’s as lackluster as he’d feared, no true passion, no real attraction.

There’s a night, where he says the right things, does a little something that seems like it might be genuine.  But after that night, it’s just more of the same game.  And then the sob-story gets worse, and now it’s a place to live, sharing space, but not lives, open for him, but not for Jimmy, a nightmare scenario for Jimmy, and dream con for the guy.  The guy has right things to say, when he’s on the phone, but he keeps throwing in obvious lies, and enough is enough.

A quiet and tense drive home, all the while wondering why he’s even doing this much for the jerk, and when the arrive at his door, the guy gets out, without a word, and walks out of Jimmy’s life.

It’s for the better, he knows.

But how he feels…

What a fool

Sunday, November 25th, 2012

What a fool I’ve been, to dream that love could be, someone for me

What a fool I’ve been, open heart, closed eyes, ignoring all the signs

What a fool I’ve been, to fall in love again, to try and trust, go beyond mere lust

What a fool I’ve been, to ever hope, for more than this

What a fool I’ve been.

Poor con skills

Tuesday, November 20th, 2012

First rule of running a long con is probably do your homework.  Or maybe it’s never make mistakes.  Either way, you should always think twice about telling an easily discoverable lie, before you’ve really gotten anything out of your mark.

But that’s just my opinion.

Jimmy and the trailer trash

Monday, November 12th, 2012

Jimmy had had a long night, the night before.  When his cat had woke him up at the usually 4am, he’d discovered the pet-food cupboard was bare, and had to find a 24×7 grocery store, before he could crawl back to bed for another couple hours of rest.  When the upstairs neighbors started their partying at 11am this next morning, he still would have liked a few hours more sleep.

Still feeling somewhat unsatisfied from the night before, Jimmy started looking around online for someone to play with, but it’s not going well, with one guy even going to the trouble of writing back to say “ewww, no way”.  Seems like an extra jerky thing to do, but whatever.  As the day moves on, and the rejection list grows longer, when he gets to the ad that offers what he wants, for a price, he gives in to temptation.

Plans are made, promises exchanged, and expectations set.  An hour later, and Jimmy is opening the door to a guy dressed in well worn clothes, neat in appearance.  Invited inside, and into the bedroom, when the clothes come off, he’s even better in person than his pictures implied, the perfect embodiment of all the poor-but-achingly-beautiful guys from the wrong side of the tracks.

He’ll receive oral from Jimmy, and it’s freaky how perfectly they fit together in this position, not too big to deep-throat, yet still way bigger than Jimmy’s own tool.  He plays with Jimmy’s butt, but doesn’t touch his dick.  Ah, one of those ‘str8’ guys, Jimmy thinks to himself.  So, when the guy lays face down, and spreads his legs open, Jimmy is surprised, but happy to top the perfect ass.  The guy has his limits, a fear of going to far that makes things a little interesting, but still workable.  Then it is Jimmy’s turn to get fucked, and the guy is going OK.  Face down isn’t Jimmy’s favorite position, but it seems to be for this guy, and Jimmy always plays along.  But again, before things have lasted very long, the guy is cumming, cleaning himself up, and heading for the door as fast as he can, while still getting what he came for.

He gives Jimmy a quick kiss on his way out the door, and hopes he’ll hear from Jimmy again soon.  Jimmy isn’t sure.  The body is everything he could hope for, and the guy doesn’t talk down to Jimmy.  But he also doesn’t last very long, in either position.    He finds it a very strange calculation to try and make, how much sex versus how much consideration, which is better, hotter-bod, or longer-lasting-sex, and so forth.


Jimmy and the rough talker

Monday, November 12th, 2012

Saturday had started out frustrating for Jimmy, spending most of it hanging out with the incredibly cute dude he knew was really just playing him for the money, who wasn’t going to ever actually put out.  The breaking point was when he was asked to give the guy a ride to the grocery store, to pick up supplies so cute-guy could make dinner for a guy he was interested in.

Being the eternal nice guy, Jimmy helped out, and dropped cute-guy off at the other guy’s door, then went home, with the intention of spending the rest of the night alone, feeling sorry for himself, and reading the online sex ads.  As he was wont to do, he’d send out a quick line of stats and locations, and the standard headless/naked picture, to any ad that looked interesting, never expecting any results.

When a response came back, from the very muscular black man who said he was looking for a backrub and ass-to-fuck, Jimmy still kept expecting it all to fall apart before things went anywhere.  As a general rule, he’d found that while a reasonable percentage of the guys he approached were interested in  (or willing to settle for) his body, 99% of the time, sending his face picture was the poison that killed the conversation.  So, when the guy was still interested even after Jimmy had shared the face of ugly, he started getting excited.

A few minutes later, and Jimmy was at the hotel, knocking on the room door, still waiting for the other shoe to drop.  When the door opened, the guy looked good.  A body in better shape than any he’d ever gotten to touch, Jimmy was eager to please.  When the guy just wanted to lay there quietly during the massage, Jimmy didn’t mind.  When the guy turned over and wanted his dick sucked, Jimmy was all for it.  When the guy started calling Jimmy a ‘little faggot’, it didn’t make him happy, but he could live with it.  Then the guy was ready for more.

He put Jimmy on his back, and started fucking hard and fast, then face down, always in his ear, “you want it in your pussy, don’t you little faggot…”, which Jimmy always finds confusing. 

“If I’m a faggot for taking the dick, what the fuck do I call the guy supplying the dick?  Seems like we’re equally ‘gay’, but whatever.”

The guy flips Jimmy back onto his back, and tells him to cum for him, still pounding away.  The whole experience has been close to Jimmy’s fantasy, and it’s not hard to give him what he asks for, thinking that there’s still plenty of time together for round two, before the host hits his first nut.

At which point it gets odd.

For all the talk during the email exchange period, about wanting to blow a big load inside him, the guy pulls out unfinished, and wants Jimmy to clean up and go.  Not super-rude about it, but very direct, with a story about a buddy’s bachelor party, and a half-hour to get there.

When Jimmy gets home, he checks out the online hookup boards, somewhat out of force of habit, somewhat out of frustration that total time spent actually inside his body, was far less than he’d hoped for, still dreaming of meeting a guy like his first boyfriend, who could last as long as Jimmy could.  And he finds that the guy had actually just posted a new ad, literally as soon as Jimmy had walked out the door, by the timestamps.

Jimmy was kinda pissed.  If the guy had just said, I’m done get out, it would have been one thing, but to make up some silly song and dance, it bugged him.  But Jimmy was also kinda worried.  He’d wanted to play safe, but hadn’t been able to call the whole thing off (his own fears kept him from even speaking a word on the subject), when the guy wanted to go bare….and if he didn’t want to cum inside Jimmy, was he going bare because he was trying to spread something, and holding off busting the nut, so he could stay hard inside as many guys as he could, spreading some sort of misery out of revenge or joy-at-being-in-a-town-where-no-one-knows-your-poz?


So, he fired up another email account, and responded with a set of pics designed as a honeypot, and sure enough, the guy took the bait.  Torn between confronting the guy, which he suspected wouldn’t go any further than the guy deleting the accusation-email, and trying a new posting with different wording and pictures, and trying to do something, he decided the best solution was to occupy the guy’s mindspace and time, keep him off the market for a couple of hours at least.

Using what he’d learned from his visit, the honey-persona talked dirty and self-degrading, promising and implying a near mythical fucktoy of a just-legal-boy, for a selfish top.  When it came time to do the actual meeting up, Jimmy figured he would at best be able to make one delaying-email, “traffic is crazy” kind of thing, to keep the illusion going.  But sometimes the universe works out in a twisted way, and just as Jimmy was getting ready to send the first shine-on, the guy delivers the opportunity for his own mindfuckery…he sends an email, saying he just needs to step out of his room for two seconds, and to wait if he doesn’t answer.  So, Jimmy holds off for a few more minutes, then sends a pissed off email, accusing the guy of playing the honey for a sucker, with extra stingers of desperation-for-it-to-have-been-real on the honey’s part.

He didn’t post a third ad that night.

Now Jimmy just has to wait 4-6 weeks, get tested, and see what was really going on….

No more money for you

Tuesday, November 6th, 2012

Got news today that I am no longer eligible for raises in salary, having reached the cap for my job-grade, last year.  Hooray for Microsoft style compensation games. =p

Remembering More Than Expected

Tuesday, November 6th, 2012

Somehow, the other day, I re-discovered The Hooters, “And We Danced”.  Probably some movie soundtrack.  Anywhoo, I rhapsody up their greatest hits, and as I’m listening to them, I have a sudden realization of misrememberance.  Sometime in the last year or so, I went through every track by Poco, that I could find, trying to remember what of theirs I used to listen to, when driving back and forth across Missouri, in high school.  I found a track I like, but never anything that sounded ‘right’ to my memories.  As the player moved from the first track to the second, recognition occurred, and I realized, I must’ve been listening to one of those walmart cassettes, that are one-band-per-side, with Poco on one, and the Hooters on the other, without noticing, back in the day.  d’oh on me.



Yeah, Karla With A K was a song I would listen to over and over again, even though it meant rewinding the cassette constantly.