Archive for the ‘stuff’ Category

If I (song idea)

Friday, January 17th, 2014
if i had a gun

then you’d be dead

if i had a gun
then you’d be dead

if I had a gun

We’d be toe to toe
and then you’d be done

If I had a gun

Then you’d be dead

If I had a knife
I’d cut your balls off

If I had a knife
I’d cut your balls off

If I had a knife

Then you’d be maimed for life
If I had a knife
I’d cut your balls off

If I had a hammer
I’d smash your head in
If I had a hammer
I’d smash your head in

If I had a hammer
Then I’d make your brains go splatter
If I had a hammer
I’d smash your head in

 

Not expected

Sunday, January 5th, 2014

Bored at home, feeling a little better, I started to check out some ‘videos’ to pass the time.  Came across something that made me laugh.  Picture a middle aged man, naked in the tub, except for a Batman mask, drinking a bottle of wine, and lip-synching Whitney Houston.

It made me laugh.

 

Going mobile

Thursday, August 29th, 2013

Had an idea for a post, probably about some quirk of working with Behat and PHP, but by the time I got wordpress setup on my iPad, I forgot what it was. If it was important, I’m sure I’ll remember. Unless it was the next Kubla Khan.

The past is behind us

Wednesday, July 10th, 2013

The past is behind us

the future is before

That’s how it’s always portrayed, and yet the reality is the opposite, the past is what we can see, the future is the unknown, so it seems like their metaphorical positions should be reversed.    The past is always out of reach, the future is always catching up with us unprepared.  What other common metaphors are reversed like this?

Keep the Iron Lady, but I want my Jiff back

Monday, April 8th, 2013

Annette Funicello is probably the first ‘celebrity’ I can remember, so it’s a sad day to hear that she has passed away.  I find it interesting that she first realized she was sick, way back during the filming of Back To The Beach.  I wonder how my mom feels today.

Dare to dance again?

Friday, April 5th, 2013

Another weekend is here…my knees are finally recovered from last weekend, so time to mess them up again?

Yelp Nerdy Dancing Killed My Knee

Monday, April 1st, 2013

And I’m good with that =p

I’d never been to Q nightclub before.  Generally, I avoid any kind of place that has a line outside and a bouncer deciding who gets to come in, and when.  But the previous Yelp parties I’ve been to have been interesting, so I figured it was worth a shot.  Most importantly, it was a chance to go dancing before 10pm.  I’ve been grumbling, mostly to myself, at how there aren’t any dancefloors that get truly moving, anywhere before past my bedtime, and here was a chance to dance, that started at 6.  Of course, I didn’t manage to make it down till 8 (and hooray for free rides from sidecar, yet another taxi alternative), so by the time I got there, some of the cooler freebies were all given out, but they were still doing $1 drink tokens to benefit the charity of the evening, and the club was reasonably packed and groovin.

I’d wandered around, found a clear spot along one wall, where I could set down my jacket and drink, and leaned against the wall, intending to do some dancing eventually, but planning on getting a little drink on first.  A few minutes later, one of a crowd of ladies dancing nearby asked me why I wasn’t dancing, so I put down the drink and did some funking, and really didn’t stop until I was ready to leave, just like back in the days.   One hot looking guy came up and complimented my dancing, but since he spent his night bumping and grinding one girl in particular, I’m pretty sure it was just a compliment, not a come-on =p

At one point the girl who got me to start dancing marvels that I’m still going strong, and gives me one of the blinking light foam bat toys, to dance with (I had been wondering if I was going to have to wait around till the end of the night, and then collect one off the floor, to get one, squee).

As the Yelp-sponsored part of the evening draws to a close, I know my window of opportunity to get a free ride is closing, and my knee is starting to let me know that, while it hasn’t dropped me to the floor yet, it’s pretty damn close, and since the place seems to be clearing out, I go ahead and head home.

It subtly bugs me, as I’m waiting outside for my sidecar pickup, that despite the fact that the club was starting to get emptied out, inside, the bouncer is letting a big line build up outside.  Any thoughts I had about going back to Q were kinda squashed at that point.

There’s a small bit of confusion, because the sidecar guy is driving a different kind of car from the one his profile says, but he gets me where home reasonably quickly, and again the ride was on Yelp.

The sidecar experience….interesting.  The first guy was friendly and personable, with free waters.  He managed to slightly miss my driveway, but since I live on a major highway, and he was only 30 yards down at the next available turn-off spot, it wasn’t a major hassle.  The second guy seemed like a traditional taxi driver, in personality and driving style.  I noticed a group of people, also getting free sidecar rides, were getting into some kid’s modified Subaru, and wonder what their ride was like.  It certainly seems like their dispatch process is faster than traditional taxi; I don’t ride enough taxis to know where their pricing fits in, and it isn’t clear if the suggested donation already includes a reasonable tip for average service, or if the base donation is for bare-minimum service, and one should expect to always be adding on an appropriate tip.  Given that you don’t get any opportunity to provide feedback of any kind on the free rides, I dunno how a ride you actually pay for works.  Will have to try it eventually.

I wish I could read japanese

Thursday, March 28th, 2013

I stopped by the Daiso store near the new workplace, today.  Was mostly expecting to fill a few minutes wandering about, but ended up finding two things I had been already in the market for.   One of the, reflective bands to cinch your pants while biking, has some interesting English on it, and I can’t help but wonder what the Japanese text says.

 

For example, one line reads

SIZE Approx 8.66″ ~ 15.75″ SIZE FREE

I don’t get why you’d put SIZE in twice, or the word FREE.

Some of the phrases are pure poetry.

This heightens the safety effect in the night, but it is not a perfect thing.

Indeed, what in life is perfect?

We DO NOT guarantee any claim about the accidents caused by using it.

This one seems like they got the intended meaning all backwards.  Surely they meant prevented, not caused.

Please use it after confirming that a reflect side is font side.

OK, this one’s just a typo =p  If it had a brand label though….

This is not a permanent band.  It may get decrepit by a use situation and external factors, such as ultraviolet rays.

And people say Americans paste everything with liability lawsuit waiver language.  I find it amusing that someone felt the possibility of people thinking this product can last forever, was such a risk factor, it deserved it’s own disclaimer line.  On a product in a dollar store.

Please be careful not to hurt things around you by velcro tape.

This one is funny for two reasons.  First, the idea that you could hurt something with Velcro (OK, I can see pantyhose type materials being adversely affected by brushing up against the wrong part, but who wears pantyhose, slacks, and rides a bike, all at the same time?  But that’s not the part that makes me giggle most.  It’s that earlier on the package, they use “Hook-and-Loop” as a capitalized phrase, yet here they use the trademarked name Velcro, as an un-capitalized generic.

It’s not laugh out loud funny, but it makes me smile.

To the traffic safety measure at nigh-time

Grammar aside, I’m not sure if this one is a typo or an actual bad translation.

 

As long as they don’t decrepify too quickly, I’m sure I’ll be happy with them.  When the japanese localization guys gets back in the office, I’m going to ask him what the package says.

Scheduling the end

Monday, February 25th, 2013

I have made an appointment with my vet.  The latest round of pills just doesn’t seem to be doing much for him, and he seems very miserable.

sad day.

Remo and History

Saturday, February 9th, 2013

I wonder how many kids, after seeing Remo Williams on cable, misinterpret what they see, and think the Statue of Liberty was built in the mid-80’s.  The cynic in me suspects more than a few.

I remember the one tourist-y trip I made to NYC, it was before the renovation, and we couldn’t go up at all.