Archive for the ‘poetry’ Category

I call myself a name that is not mine

Tuesday, August 12th, 2014

I call myself a name that is not mine


When all I do is hope, in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary,

for no rational reason

I have continued to hope

to dream

to look on joy and feel loss

as if joy was ever going to be mine

as if hope was ever going to make a difference

Maybe it’s time

to give up

on hoping

to give up

on dreaming

Plenty of work to be done


I have limits

Sunday, June 8th, 2014

I try to be the guy

Who takes it all in stride

Never says ‘no’

Never gives up

I try

But I do say, ‘no’

And I do give up

When hurt

When rejected

When disrespected

I do say ‘no’

I do give up.

So congratulations to you

For all that we’ve been through

For you I say

“No more”.

Terrible but true

Wednesday, June 5th, 2013

You wouldn’t believe it, even if it happened to you, that someone could be so cruel.

My Lobotomy

Wednesday, May 29th, 2013

Took out parts that made me sad

Put in parts that make me glad

Why on earth would I be mad

At the guy who lobotomized me?


Opened up my brain pan wide

Took a look at what’s wrong inside

And did something never tried


Little Things

Wednesday, May 15th, 2013

Little things are all I have

No big dreams to look forward to

Little things are all I have

No long tail to ride, no hope, no future

Trapped in the moment of misery

Unable to see past the petty of the pity

Little things are all I have

The soil of my heart is salted earth

Nothing will grow again here

Where once a forest grew,

Only sticks and desiccated leaves remain,

To crumble under foot

At the slightest touch

All the life removed

The shell is brittle.


If no why, what to try?

Friday, May 10th, 2013

If there is no why to be found

For the state of things as they are now

What can be said about what to try

That the future might be different?



Thursday, April 11th, 2013

Darkness moves in

across my heart and mind

clouds my eyes till I can not see

anything good before me.


Darkness moves in

my soul would give up

had it ever held hope

in the first place.


Darkness moves in

sets up home inside me

with no intent of letting go.

Do You See

Monday, March 11th, 2013

Do You See

Do you see the tears in my eyes,I always try to hide?

Do you see the history written on my face, of pain and disgrace?

Do you see all the things wrong with me, body and mind?

It all seems so obvious to me,

I have to wonder, do you see?


Wednesday, February 27th, 2013

I come in the door,

I want to tell you I’m home

But you’re gone, forever gone


I come in the door,

I cry on the floor

Because you are gone, forever gone


For 17 years, you’ve always been there

Now you’re gone, forever gone


I called you my friend,

But failed you in the end

And you’re gone, forever gone.


Fool versus rule

Wednesday, January 30th, 2013

Here I am again, playing the fool, for a guy who’s measure I cannot rule

Against him, my accomplishments pale, like my skin, slug white contrast to burnished bronze

Nothing to offer, but time and body, heart and soul, hope for the best, but know the worst is yet to come.

Each time we visit, he takes something away, from my home, my heart, my soul, something of value, something of meaning, something of worth, leaving me empty, impoverished, and alone.

I give it freely, I give without regret, in the sense you might suspect.

My only regret is that I am who I am, and no one else.